The Homesteady

Kids' Pride

Happy Pride Month!

Northampton celebrates early, our march held the first weekend of May so that the many college students who attend school in the valley are still here and can participate. Kristie and Miles and I marched with a group of students and staff from the community college where I work. It was Miles's first Pride (we were all out of town for a wedding last year), and I think he really liked it. Kristie gave him a small rainbow flag to hold while we were marching down Main Street, and he waved it furiously at the cheering bystanders. 

Personally, I've never made it through a Pride parade without crying, and this year was no different -- especially because we were experiencing it as a family for the first time. Northampton is a very special place. To borrow from a post I wrote a few years ago: "I cry because I'm happy, and safe, and part of such an amazing community."

So while our local Pride has come and gone, June is still Pride Month around the world. Here are a few projects and products to help you celebrate Pride with your kids.

Cool Like My Moms tee [affiliate link] / Rainbow: A First Book of Pride [affiliate link]
Tie-Dye Rainbow Shoes / Rainbow Cookies
Rainbow cardigan (free knitting pattern) / Rainbow sweatshirt [affiliate link]
Dope Like My Dads tee [affiliate link] / Rainbow waffles

Also check out 6 Pride DIYs, plus a Polaroid Kristie and I at our first Pride together way back in 2007. 

*Images in this post belong to the websites with which they are associated.

A family-themed quiet book

We are lucky and not. My parents and siblings live close enough that Miles gets to see them regularly (and we have access to eager babysitters). Kristie's mom, sister, and our nephew, though, live in Virginia. They visit as often as they can and we're planning a trip to see them in August, but in the meantime, I wanted him to have a way to connect with them regularly (outside of Facetime).

Have you ever looked up "quiet book ideas" on Pinterest? There are thousands. Quiet books are wonderful things, I've come to learn. They're full of little age-appropriate activities –– although whether the books are so named because these activities are quiet or are designed to keep toddlers themselves quiet, I'm not sure. Both work. And the internet abounds with DIY tutorials for creating new pages which can be sewn or hot-glued into existence.

I decided to wed the "quiet book" concept with photos of Miles's (our) Virginia family members: Kristie's mom, her dad (who passed away suddenly in early 2017, around the same time I finally got pregnant), her sister Raven, our nephew Jacob, and Kristie's grandma and step-grandpa. I thought the little activities and games would keep him engaged while also looking at their photos and practicing their names. 

Happily, it's working. He refers to it determinedly as "MY book," and is regularly occupied by turning the pages, pushing beads from one side to another, and making Pawpaw's cars drive around the road. He spends a lot of time on Jacob's page as well, carefully moving legos from their plastic pouch to the waiting velcro squares. ("Jekkop," he says confidently.)

Have a look at the video above if you can. The photos in this post were hastily snapped near a window in the kitchen, and the light puts a glare on some of the printed images, making them look too light. (They're not.)

A few tips and sources, if you'd like to make one too:

• I made a secret Pinterest board to collect the favorite ideas I'd come across, and then plotted out the content of each page beforehand in Google Slides
• Much of the felt came from our local Buy Nothing group on Facebook (including the car page, already assembled) and from Etsy [affiliate link]
• I printed the family photos onto iron-on transfer paper [affiliate link], then ironed them onto scrap white cotton. Beware, if it matters because of text legibility, this process will flip the photo! (See backwards text in Mawmaw and Don's wedding photo. Oh well.)
• I designed the front cover (and Jacob's name) in Photoshop, then flipped it, printed it, traced it onto this paper [affiliate link], ironed to transfer it onto the felt, then stitched over it with embroidery thread
• The rest of the odds and ends I already had, or purchased in a $20 Michaels trip made the morning I put it all together

Solange's new album

Solange released a new album today called When I Get Home. Everyone in my office today is streaming it on Spotify, and I'm listening too and thinking back to the night Miles was born. My sister played A Seat at the Table for me in the delivery room on a little speaker, and it made me feel safe and strong and calm while I pushed our son into the world. (And I'm glad a creative, powerful black female artist was the first music he heard.) Listening to that album and now her new music smoothes some of the sharper edges of my memories of childbirth. It's an emotional balm.

Now that she has a new album out, I said to Kristie, "Looks like we need to have another baby!"

"Hmm," she replied, "let's wait for the next album."

If you're a parent, did you have a birthing playlist? What's on it, or what do you imagine you'd listen to?

Gender-free toddler clothes v.1

The clothing Miles wears comes from thrift stores, hand-me-downs from neighbors across the street (whose son is a few months older than ours), or the sales racks at fast fashion stores whose doorways we guiltily, greedily darken. Sometimes I am emboldened to make something for him to wear. Regardless of the source, when I have the opportunity to choose I do nag myself to try and select clothes for him that might be difficult to interpret as belonging to one gender or another. Lately he's been mistaken for a girl when we're out, which I suppose could be counted as a credit toward this effort ("Maya?" another mother mishears when I tell her his name. "She's beautiful!"), or perhaps to my furious unwillingness to yet consider cutting his hair. It's not perfect or maybe even great, but it is an effort; I think often about how we/Americans praise and empower parents for dressing their daughters in "boys'" clothing, but we don't do the same when our sons wear dresses or skirts. (Were Miles a girl, I know I'd bedeck her in dresses and skirts. And I don't, since – as far as we know – he's not. Am I not part of the complication here?)

Well. My experience was that it was much easier to find a wider range of gender-free choices when he could fit into smaller clothes. (Do you think that's for parents who decide to wait until birth to learn their baby's sex?) Now that he's larger, it's like a schism has opened between the pink/sparkly/ruched and the blue/construction-themed/sturdy clothing that is made in his size. I've started quietly pinning options that couldn't really be shoehorned into either camp, and I'd like to share them with you in a new series. I'd like it also if you could please tip a cap in my direction when you find something that might belong on a future iteration of this list!

Striped tee, Nordstrom Rack / Knit bauble sweater, H&M
Bunny booties, Hanna Andersson / So Much Fun tee, Nordstrom Rack
Knit set, H&M / Heart leggings, Old Navy

Oh, and be aware – all of these are affiliate links.

A small, striped sweater

Slowly, my mind has started to shift. If I'm already sewing or knitting our own clothes, I wondered, why not do it with fibers made close to our home? I posted in local Facebook groups, did internet searches, called around. The timing of Katy's Christmas gift for me, a copy of Mending Matters [affiliate link], couldn't have been better. My head is swirling with ideas and inspiration –– thrifting eco-friendly fabrics, dyeing with locally harvested plants, weaving and spinning and mending my own clothes with my own hands.

(My favorite part of all of this? How easy it feels. Like leaning into the pull of gravity. Also new: the gentle realization that one needn't do everything all at once to be good at this, or good in general. A little bit at a time is still good. Almost every morning, I place my spent coffee grounds in the compost bucket. On the days I don't, it doesn't cancel out the rest.)

So. Finding fabric made nearby has been a challenge, but local yarn abounds; we're lucky for that. Thanks to my search, I saved lots of Etsy shops and nearby farms that produce yarn for future projects. But in the meantime, it's the most sustainable choice for my budget to knit through what I already have –– including a worsted multi from Stonehedge Fibers, via Knit New Haven, via my Aunt Carol. I bumped the patiently waiting knitting projects on my list to make room for one small, striped sweater. I used the worsted multi, and then (after misreading grams for yards and thinking I had enough, oops) had to go to a chain store and get a small skein of cotton-acrylic to finish it.

But wait!

I bound off too tightly, and the neck wouldn't fit over my son's (admittedly, a little larger than average) head. I almost gave in, and wondered, disappointedly, who I should gift it to. But I love this yarn, and I put work into this sweater, and I'm proud of it. I think it's lovely. So I brought it to our local yarn store, Webs, for drop-in help. And in just a few minutes, a kind and patient teacher named Susan had taught me how to unpick what I'd done, and instructed me on how to do it better, again. And better it is. I put it on Miles for a day trip to my parents' house, and myself wore a sweater I'd made. I settled in to rock him to sleep for a nap (no rules when we travel) and thought about the fibers I'd woven together that were wrapped around both our bodies, which were wrapped around each other. 

(In almost no time, both of us were too warm to be comfortable, so he napped in my arms in his undershirt, and me in my long sleeves. But I still like thinking about it.)

This is the free pattern I used, if you're curious. I liked it very much.

Intention

More art projects, mending, composting, donating, “yes” (to Miles, to rest), being present, making for us, baking (later crossed out and replaced with "cooking"), and fun. I added the words “woods” and “saving” too after taking this picture, and then Miles ripped the whole thing up. I know there’s a metaphor in there somewhere... 

I’m excited for the adventure of a new year, and for sharing it with you here!

Miles is one

We reserved two picnic tables at an indoor park one town over. I baked the cake, and saved extra junk food to put on a matching store-bought one. Three little friends, their parents, and my family joined us for two hours on a Saturday. Together, we celebrated our one-year-old.

Magic 8 Ball pregnant Halloween costume

Last Halloween I was very pregnant and grouchy, and fully committed to not dressing up as anything for Halloween. I was ready to eat all the Halloween candy we'd bought (psst – no one trick-or-treats in our neighborhood, so Kristie and I both knew exactly who that "just in case" purchase was really for), and watch a scary movie or two. 

I changed my tune for a Halloween party. It was being thrown by Kristie's boss and I wanted to go with her, and couldn't not go in costume. My hormone-addled brain started turning over ideas for round costumes, and I finally wrung out a memory of one of my favorite childhood toys: the Magic 8 Ball! [affiliate link] 

By this time, I was feeling totally charged up and creative, and suddenly very excited about dressing up. So it wasn't enough to have my belly just look like the toy – it had to "work," too! 

Here's how I made it...

1. I bought two black t-shirts. One I painted with the 8 ball (top shirt), and cut a whole in the other (bottom shirt).
2. I cut out little triangles of blue cardstock and put a few of the short little answers on them with letter stickers (you know, "No," "Yes," "Maybe," etc.).
3. I filled a Ziplock bag with clear aloe vera gel mixed with purple food coloring, sealed it, and bagged it again. I left the top of the outer bag open so I could switch out the triangles as needed (they sat behind the gel bag and inside the outer bag).
4. I taped the bags to my skin under the two shirts, leaving top untaped so I could switch triangles, although I ended up just leaving "No" in there the whole night. (It was the theme of my third trimester!)

That's that! The party was fun, even though a few people thought I was a cue ball (it's okay, I get it). I shared the photos on Facebook and Instagram, but never here until now. 

I'm having the same surge of creative energy for Miles's Halloween costume this year. I didn't really feel any particular inspiration until Kristie came up with a simple DIY costume idea for him, which I metaphorically snatched from her hands and then made approximately 10 times more complicated ;) As with the Magic 8 Ball costume, I forgot I had a blog until it was too late to take process photos, so I'll share the finished product after Halloween! 

8 DIY baby toys that encourage sensory play

Drums // Sensory bag
Pretzel rattle [affiliate link] // High contrast quiet book
Wooden rattles // Ribbon pull toy
City playmat // Crinkly tag toy

All the images in this round-up belong to the websites with which they are associated.

How to survive the first few weeks with a newborn

I received product and compensation from Mead Johnson Nutrition to create this post written by me. All experiences and opinions expressed in this post are my own and not those of Mead Johnson Nutrition. You can contact Mead Johnson Nutrition with product related questions or comments toll-free at 1-800-BABY-123 (1-800-222-9123).

In the first few weeks after Miles’s birth, everything felt new and different. My body, for sure. Kristie’s and my relationship? Definitely. Our house? Yup; we even rearranged the furniture in our living room so that for the first six weeks of his life, we could take shifts sleeping on the couch next to the bassinet while the other wife got uninterrupted rest upstairs.

And then, of course, there was the baby.

All of a sudden this amazing, new, small, confusing human was living with us – and dependent on Kristie and me for everything. (No pressure, right?) But we all made it through the newborn days – I even caught myself missing those middle-of-the-night feedings recently!

In addition to the living room sleeping arrangement (somewhat unconventional I think, but it worked for us until he was sleeping longer stretches, and until we all missed each other too much!), here are a few more things that helped make those newborn days – and nights – a little easier.

• A village. We didn’t get out much during Miles’s first few months. He was born in late November, and we weren’t feeling quite brave enough to take our tiny son out into the cold and flu germs very often. But my parents live about an hour away from us, and I kid you not we (happily!) saw them at least every weekend for Miles’s first 16 weeks! My brother and sister came, too, as often as they could. Friends brought food, hand-me-downs, gifts, and more – just socializing with other adults felt like such a relief sometimes.
• Gentle formula. Poor baby Miles took after me – and a LOT of other babies – and was a pretty gassy newborn. It sounds cute (aww, baby farts!), but gas can actually be uncomfortable for babies. Sometimes Miles was so uncomfortable he didn’t want to sleep or eat – just cry. This was obviously super distressing to his mothers (especially combined with sleep deprivation and postpartum healing). We spent a lot of time burping him, bicycling his legs, massaging his tummy. Finally we switched his formula to Enfamil NeuroPro™ Gentlease® Baby Formula. (Miles has been combo-fed – breastfeeding, pumped milk, and formula – since day one. Actually, since hour one! I had to have surgery right after he was born, so Kristie got to give him his first meal: a bottle of formula. I love looking back at those sweet first pictures of them together.) Enfamil NeuroPro™ Gentlease® is a gentle formula for easing fussiness, gas, and crying in 24 hours that has small, gentle easy-to-digest proteins. Plus, Gentlease is the #1 Pediatrician recommended brand for gassy and fussy babies. It’s the choice we keep making for Miles’s formula even today!

• Outside time – every day. For me, not the baby. Even when it was a blizzard outside, I left the house to walk up and down the street, go to the store, walk the dog downtown. Sometimes I would bring Miles in the stroller or carrier, but the point was to get myself out of the house. Even if it was just for 10 minutes.
• A moms group. I joined the moms group at the hospital where I delivered, and we met weekly on Fridays. I can’t overstate how powerful it was to connect with other mothers, some of whom were going through exactly what I was, and others who could tell us that it gets better! The group helped me build my crew of invaluable mom friends, and we’re all still in touch.

These are tips that worked for me – make sure you try different things, and see what works best for your baby and for you. Then, DO THAT THING! Soon, it won’t feel like you’re just surviving – you’ll be thriving.

Visit https://www.enfamil.com/enrollment/neur1 or call 1-800-BABY-123 for more information and to request a free sample.

This is sponsored by Enfamil® Gentlease Infant Formula.