I asked in my Instagram stories a little while ago if anyone had any questions about my second pregnancy or about our family expecting our second baby, and thought I'd answer them here!
ANY DIFFERENCE IN APPROACHING "BABY ESSENTIALS" FOR #2?
Yes! Firstly we still have lots left over from Miles's newborn days. We knew we wanted to have more than one child, so we saved plenty of things that came in handy the first time – and got rid of a few that just didn't.
What I'm finding myself really focusing on the second time around is preparing essentials for myself – comfy clothes that allow nursing access, a postpartum care cart for the bathroom, two "nursing stations" where I think I'll be chest feeding most often (which each include snacks, water/Gatorade, breast pads, a Hakaa [affiliate link], lip balm, hair ties, burp cloths, and a few special activities to keep Miles busy when he's around and needing attention), and lots of freezer cooking. I think these things will help us all adjust a little bit better to those early days :)
Regarding things like baby clothes, I'm being a lot pickier this time around about choosing items that are more gender neutral, and just things that I like better. I don't know why this feels important, but it does!
WHAT'S THE BEST THING ABOUT THE SECOND PREGNANCY (SO FAR)?
The best thing about this second pregnancy is less fear and anxiety than the first time. A lot feels physically and emotionally familiar, and I've just been feeling less anxiety overall. Having a four-year-old who needs to have his routine maintained has kept me really grounded in the present, and this pregnancy feels like it's gone by really quickly, which I'm glad for especially as I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable!
HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT THE TRANSITION?
For the most part I'm feeling positive about transitioning from one to two children. I mean, I know it'll have its moments, but we'll all adjust. (That's the best thing I learned from going through the early days/years already – nothing hard lasts forever!)
My primary focus is Miles's transition to becoming a big brother. We've been reading lots of books, having lots of conversations, and watching videos about newborns. Most of the time he's excited, and when he's feeling other (totally normal) ways about the new baby coming, he shares it with us either by saying it in a straightforward way ("I've decided I don't want to have a new baby anymore") or by regressing with other behaviors that we can then help him process. I'm just glad he feels safe enough to be open with us no matter what he's feeling, and we're doing our best to work through it together. That's my hope through it all, that fundamentally he just feels safe and like we still have his back even through a change as big as this.
Also, our plan is for him to keep going to preschool even though I'll be on parental leave until the fall. It's tempting to pull him out for a few months for more time together (and tuition savings!!), but I think ultimately it would be too disruptive to his routine, and I know he'd miss his friends. Plus we wouldn't be able to hold his spot with the preschool, which feels pretty risky. I'm happy that we can promise that at least one thing in his life won't be changing, and that I'll get the opportunity to rest, heal, and bond with the new baby with a little more peace during the day – and be able to give Miles more of my energy and attention when he is home.
HOW DID YOU EDUCATE YOURSELF AROUND LABOR/BIRTH FOR #1? HOW IS THIS IMPACTING FEELINGS RE: #2?
My top priority with my first pregnancy and delivery was just that both of us survive. We'd gone through so much to get pregnant, I really didn't care what kind of birth experience I had as long as the baby and I were okay at the end of the day. Kristie and I planned to deliver at a high-risk hospital with a NICU, just in case (even though there was nothing that indicated we'd need it, and we ultimately didn't).
Long story short, I ended up having a challenging, traumatic delivery that ended in blood loss and a childbirth injury for me which took a long time to heal, and many many moments I wish had gone differently. I'll of course be grateful forever that Miles and I made it through and are now both healthy, but the experience taught me that that's not the only metric by which we can measure a "good birth."
Because of that experience, Kristie and I are making as many choices as we can that are different from the first experience. I'll be delivering at a different hospital with the help of a midwife instead of a doctor, and we've hired a doula (so excited about this decision!). One thing that's the same is I'm still planning to get an epidural :) That was a good choice for me last time and I'm comfortable doing it again, albeit with a different care team this time around (thankfully).
Green t-shirt dress / Old Navy [affiliate link]
Earrings / Tiny Anvil
Bracelets / Kestrel & Cat Bird
