I took the first two weeks of October – my first two weeks of being 31 – off from Facebook. I didn't listen to NPR, either. The news was just too triggering. (I had mentioned to Kristie a few weeks ago that Kavanaugh's confirmation would be the clearest way this country had to tell women that we don't matter. It was sobering and sad and scary when that actually happened.)
I struggled with my absence, too – my choice to be willfully ignorant, whether in the name of protecting my mental wellness or not, was an exercise in privilege. I can stop paying attention to the news without too much hindrance. I'm lucky. For many others, what's going on in our country permeates every aspect of their lives. Whether or not they want to, they can't escape it.
I knew it was time to slowly come back when, during a meeting at work, I realized I didn't know anything about Megyn Kelly's recent blackface comments. I'm doing my best now to be as mindful as I can – I want to stay informed while safeguarding my mental health. Little things have helped, like only checking Facebook when I have a notification, or checking in with NPR before intentionally switching to Pandora in the mornings. Kristie and I are also doing our best to prepare for the midterm election in a few days, going back and forth together about local candidates and questions.
I stitched this shirt towards the end of October, when I was easing back into the news. It's exactly how I feel – I'm a tired feminist. (I'm not sure it's the most empowering label, but it is honest.)
Being tired doesn't make me stop coming to work. I'm tired, but I keep doing laundry. I'm tired, but I get up in the morning with the baby. I'm tired, but I say yes to new challenges in the office. Kristie and I are tired, but we still go on adventures with the baby and walk the dog and cook with real recipes and try our best to make time for friends.
Being tired is not going to make me quit being a feminist, or to stop fighting for what I believe is right. I'm a tired feminist. That's an acknowledgment of the struggle so many people are facing under the current administration – including those who don't have the privilege to take a break – and a promise: We're not going to stop.
Want to make one too? Print out this template, trace it onto this paper with this pencil [affiliate link], iron it onto your shirt, and stitch.
I had Kristie take these pictures of me while we all got ready this morning – brushing teeth, making coffee, hanging in our room before getting dressed. I think gone for awhile are the days of carefully styled shoots :)
PS – Stencil a Smashing the Patriarchy is My Cardio t-shirt, and stitch a Females Are Strong As Hell tote bag.
