or: how i've survived mine so far.
there are plenty of guides, books, websites + blogs about how to plan the perfect wedding. what have i learned so far about planning the perfect wedding? it's really not as easy as it seems.
the good news: who would want a perfect wedding? i want a celebration that's inspired by our relationship + life together -- beautiful, thrown together at the last minute in a few ways, happy, messy at times, hilarious, full of love + family. so...not perfect per se. but perfect for us.
sometimes it feels like my life + world have been enveloped entirely by the wedding planning process -- in the best of ways. i love the immersion in dress alterations, hairstyles, centerpieces + testing the limit of how much diy we can actually take (answer: a lot). i love coordinating with the caterer, bartenders, dessert people. making + sharing schedules with all members of the wedding party. designing + printing some of our invitation suite + programs with some photoshop skills i might just be very proud of. finding ways to stretch the budget a little further at flea markets + thrift stores, and with the help of some truly amazing friends. putting together activity bags for the children attending our wedding + for the guests at the hotel.
planning our wedding is truly a source of happiness in my life. we've reached the point where it's less about worry + more about excitement. that being said, i do have a full-time job...and it's not planning my wedding. i've been keeping a running list over the past few months of the things that have made our pre-wedding lives easier. maybe some of them will help you, too!
"oh my gosh," you're saying, "DUH, pinterest." but seriously. pinterest was the blank slate where all of our ideas/wants/needs for the wedding came together in a beautiful way. we got inspiration for almost every aspect of our ceremony + celebration there.
one of the best parts about using pinterest to plan a wedding is taking advantage of the (fairly) new secret boards feature. two of my amazing bridesmaids + their immensely creative mothers offered to do our flowers as their wedding gift to us (i know, i'm the luckiest!). i made a secret board where i pinned only inspiration for our flowers that i then shared with my bridesmaids + their moms. that was a space where we could communicate about likes, dislikes + cost, out of the public eye. it was blessedly private + a very effective way to share photos that showed exactly what we wanted. how could any vendor not want that kind of information to come through in the clearest way?
ordering a custom address stamp was one of the very first things i did once we started planning. we got this one from etsy seller foryoo. the font -- strangelove -- matched our invitations! it was awesome to have this stamp on hand even before we sent out the wedding invitations; it was a life saver at christmastime. + as far as wedding planning goes, anything i can do to avoid having to write something out by hand is a win in my book.
kristie + i have emergen-c on hand most of the year anyway (nobody likes to get sick). it's really coming in handy now. with my luck, i knew i'd meet some nasty germs in the weeks right before the wedding. this is my pre-emptive strike on springtime colds. i've been hedging my bets + drinking one emergen-c every other day with breakfast. so far: not sick.
this is something we do not have, but i really wish we'd thought of before getting flooded by reply cards. i mean, our friends + family are really good at sealing envelopes! i was all thumbs trying to get some of them open. i like this one + these.
this was a habit that was -- and still is, even with just 11 days to go -- so crucial to our happiness: non-wedding nights. every so often, one of us would come home from work + say, "can we just not talk about the wedding tonight?" and we wouldn't. we'd watch "breaking bad," go for a walk downtown, head to the dog park, or go out to dinner -- just the two of us. it was a really good reminder that this relationship is still going to be here even after the wedding's over + deserves just as much (i believe more) attention. i love how mindy kaling writes about marriage in her book is everyone hanging out without me?: "in the shakespearean comedies, the wedding is the end, and there isn't much indication of what happily ever after will look like day to day. in real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch of other friends? a great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty years." so load netflix, pull down the shades, assume cuddle positions + relax for awhile!
similarly to pinterest's secret boards, google docs are an amazing way to save + share information. we have spreadsheets for guest responses; meal choices, along with details about food allergies + preferences; gifts we've received + whether or not a thank-you note has been sent; songs we want played, divided by dinnertime + dancing; the (ever-changing) wedding day schedule; questions for different vendors; + rehearsal dinner details. seriously, my relationship with google docs is gross. i love them + the fact that kristie or i can pop over to one of our spreadsheets any time throughout the day + make a note that both of us can see later from any computer.
everybody says this, i know. everybody has been telling me this from day one. in the beginning i brushed it off, with a thanks-but-no-thanks, i-got-this vibe. because i had a grip on things + still do. i was stressed, but not overly so, and truly enjoying the wedding planning process + watching things come out the way i had envisioned. but what i was missing was the fun of doing this with my friends + family. having my mom here to help us do the seating chart was insanely helpful. we would've been able to do it ourselves, sure, but having her there made it go by so much more quickly and it was more fun. so my recommendation is, even if you know you don't need help, ask for it anyway, because you never know how much fun it could be.
what would you add to this list? what helped you survive planning your wedding?
*hand image from new york public library digital gallery. etsy is an affiliate sponsor of the homesteady.
