i'm in connecticut at my parents' house for christmas, just like every year. we've had a celebration full of love + great food + laughter most of all, just like every year, but this year it's also been tinted with a certain sadness that i think everyone in this state -- and across the country -- is also feeling. it's hard to celebrate with our full families knowing that so many are missing the most important part of their christmases.
driving home last night from christmas dinner at my aunt's house in new haven, my mom + i were listening to ct's npr station. colin mcenroe's guest that night was psychiatrist john woodall, whose work has taken him to bosnia, new orleans post-katrina, uganda to work with child soldiers, + to new york city after 9/11. listening to their conversation about the shootings in newtown, conn., that took the lives of 20 elementary school children from our community, made our christmas feel a little more whole. an excerpt:
Grief isn't a cold that you get over. It's not the flu ...Grief is love. Grief is love with the love object gone. It's love in the form of heartbreak. To say you "get over" grief is to say you get over your love. ...The first thing is not to be afraid of the grief. What the process of grieving is all about is about finding a new form for that love, whether it's finding a cause to devote oneself to, or some way to honor that love.
please, please, please listen to it. we are, again, right now. visit john's website. his books are on my reading list. + hug your kids, still, some more.
a few photos from our christmas:
this wrapping paper
more to come later.