The Homesteady

A small, striped sweater

Slowly, my mind has started to shift. If I'm already sewing or knitting our own clothes, I wondered, why not do it with fibers made close to our home? I posted in local Facebook groups, did internet searches, called around. The timing of Katy's Christmas gift for me, a copy of Mending Matters [affiliate link], couldn't have been better. My head is swirling with ideas and inspiration –– thrifting eco-friendly fabrics, dyeing with locally harvested plants, weaving and spinning and mending my own clothes with my own hands.

(My favorite part of all of this? How easy it feels. Like leaning into the pull of gravity. Also new: the gentle realization that one needn't do everything all at once to be good at this, or good in general. A little bit at a time is still good. Almost every morning, I place my spent coffee grounds in the compost bucket. On the days I don't, it doesn't cancel out the rest.)

So. Finding fabric made nearby has been a challenge, but local yarn abounds; we're lucky for that. Thanks to my search, I saved lots of Etsy shops and nearby farms that produce yarn for future projects. But in the meantime, it's the most sustainable choice for my budget to knit through what I already have –– including a worsted multi from Stonehedge Fibers, via Knit New Haven, via my Aunt Carol. I bumped the patiently waiting knitting projects on my list to make room for one small, striped sweater. I used the worsted multi, and then (after misreading grams for yards and thinking I had enough, oops) had to go to a chain store and get a small skein of cotton-acrylic to finish it.

But wait!

I bound off too tightly, and the neck wouldn't fit over my son's (admittedly, a little larger than average) head. I almost gave in, and wondered, disappointedly, who I should gift it to. But I love this yarn, and I put work into this sweater, and I'm proud of it. I think it's lovely. So I brought it to our local yarn store, Webs, for drop-in help. And in just a few minutes, a kind and patient teacher named Susan had taught me how to unpick what I'd done, and instructed me on how to do it better, again. And better it is. I put it on Miles for a day trip to my parents' house, and myself wore a sweater I'd made. I settled in to rock him to sleep for a nap (no rules when we travel) and thought about the fibers I'd woven together that were wrapped around both our bodies, which were wrapped around each other. 

(In almost no time, both of us were too warm to be comfortable, so he napped in my arms in his undershirt, and me in my long sleeves. But I still like thinking about it.)

This is the free pattern I used, if you're curious. I liked it very much.

The lull

I'm so enjoying the quiet of January this year. I feel like we've nestled deeply into its stillness, that hushed lull that follows the holidays. 

This winter feels incredibly different. Last year, of course, we were negotiating life with a three-month-old – the blessing of sleep deprivation is that later, your memories of it can feel foggy, pieced together, almost dreamy. Dreamlike, anyway. Almost like it never happened. (Almost.)

Before Miles's arrival, seasonal affective disorder made this time of year so challenging. I still have it, I still know it's there, but oh it's quiet now. I've known for all of my therapy-going adult years that (1) regular exercise and (2) a consistent routine are direct paths away from the sadness and anxiety that settle in my heart in January, February, and sometimes March.

Of course, knowing something rationally and being able to implement it in real life are two very different things. It wasn't enough to only do it for myself (somewhat sadly, I suppose). I'd craft schedules and to-do lists, write winter goals, plan to visit the gym at work, and then slip so quickly from those promises into...well, couch life. That simply can't happen now. My son's schedule depends on mine, and his is one I'm motivated to protect at all costs. I have to hold myself accountable in order to keep his life healthy and happy and predictable – and now mine is healthier and happier and more predictable too. 

(The gym doesn't influence his life as much, I suppose, but I've been prioritizing an hour there every other day. It's become sacred time I can spend entirely by myself, and I'm enjoying so much the experience of my body getting stronger.)

Our weekends are blissfully empty of formal plans. Kristie and I take turns working on chores or small home projects while the other plays with the toddler close by. We bake and clean and launder, entirely together. We make second breakfast. We take Miles to children's museums or parks or play dates or the library. We doze on the couch while he naps. 

As for me, day to day: I'm keeping a list of knitting to-dos in my phone, and working through it slowly. (In the Google Tasks app, which I like very much.) I invite Miles to help me fold laundry on the floor or rip up kale for soup or sweep in the kitchen, understanding fully that the time each task takes to complete will be multiplied exponentially, but that it will be made immediately worth it to see him engaged and so proud to be helping. I watch an episode of Marie Kondo's new Netflix show after bedtime, and then sort through our belongings with Kristie, moving through the house one area at a time without rushing. I make our bed with cozy flannel sheets. I read a few pages of Mending Matters [affiliate link] before falling asleep, and dream of dyeing raw silk pink with avocado pits. I devote a few minutes each evening to growing our wedding video business. I take chilly walks downtown with dog and stroller in tow. I watch "Charmed" in the bath. 

I'm enjoying the lull this year more than ever before. The three of us (and Samson too) live religiously by a schedule of wake times, nap times, bedtimes. But it's this rigidity, this safe structure that creates room for unhurried wonder, coziness, gentle work, hygge to thrive. I like it very much.

Intention

More art projects, mending, composting, donating, “yes” (to Miles, to rest), being present, making for us, baking (later crossed out and replaced with "cooking"), and fun. I added the words “woods” and “saving” too after taking this picture, and then Miles ripped the whole thing up. I know there’s a metaphor in there somewhere... 

I’m excited for the adventure of a new year, and for sharing it with you here!

This toy makes holiday lights even more magical (& it's Prime-eligible!)

I can't remember how this little collection of 3D paper glasses came to be ours -- or how they've lasted this long (since college, really!), but these are some of the most fun things to use when you have Christmas lights up. Putting on a pair of the specs turns your tree into a holiday light show, and you can even put them in front of your camera to get special effect photos! 

They're Prime-eligible on Amazon [affiliate link] so you should be able to get them in time for Christmas. 

I want to find a nicely decorated neighborhood and have an evening stroll wearing these. 

Totally magical. And they make you look **VERY** cool, too...

A staycation sleepover at MGM Springfield

Last weekend, my wife Kristie and I had the perfect staycation at MGM Springfield, a new casino that just opened up 20 minutes away from us. My parents came up from CT to spend the night with Miles, and she and I snuck away down 91 after putting him to bed. 

I'd been so curious about MGM Springfield; I think everyone who lives in our area has probably felt the same way since it opened in August. I was really excited when they agreed to let us come visit, and share with you the ideal one-night staycation itinerary (scroll down)!

The room we stayed in was just cool. Like, Pinterest-cool. From the paint color (I kept referring to it as "evergreen" -- what would you call it?) to the gallery wall to the brass hardware and Edison bulbs, everything was on trend and on point.

I especially loved our bathroom. I took these pictures to share here, yes, but also to save for my own future reference.

That brass theme continued throughout the rest of the hotel -- through the hallways, and down to the Lobby Bar. 

Before I tell you about our drinks, I want to mention something. I was so impressed by the level of detail in the decor of each section of the casino that we visited. Down to granular levels, like velvet upholstery, carefully laid-out coffee tables, and mismatched throw pillows. I admire the quality of focus and attention that was evident just everywhere. In fact, we learned that the hotel's decor is inspired by the literary legacy of western Massachusetts -- my inner English major was especially pleased.

Every Friday night in the Lobby Bar is Study Hall, featuring literary-inspired cocktails (like Romeo & Juniper, and Gone With the Gin) and live music. I had the Catcher in the Rye Whiskey, and Kristie had the Peter Cottontail. 

The decor was so lush, and sipping our drinks while perusing the bookshelves, I said out loud for the first time (but not the last), "It doesn't even feel like we're in a casino."

I'd go back to the Lobby Bar again just to spend an evening in "Study Hall" -- even if it weren't connected to the other amazing things we experienced. Sitting in a velvet chair, drinking good whiskey, surrounded by old books? Sort of my happy place. 



We strolled next to the Chandler Steakhouse for a late dinner, and felt immediately transported back to Paris. (Specifically Les Deux Magots, once favored by Ernest Hemingway.) Again, the thought put into each aspect of decor and atmosphere was startling. Everything felt so velvet-y and indulgent and special. Kristie ordered steak, and I salmon. Both were delicious, but what we're really still mentioning to one another is the potato purée.

Here is the one-night itinerary my friend Saviero worked out for us, and for you too. (We didn't do everything on the list, but that's just another reason to go back!)

Friday

5 p.m.	Check in at MGM Springfield
6 p.m.	Study Hall at the Lobby Bar
8 p.m.	Dinner at the Chandler Steakhouse
9:30 p.m.	Post-dinner drinks at Commonwealth

 

Saturday

Morning	Breakfast in the South End Market
10 a.m.	Spa treatment
12 p.m.	Lunch & bowling at TAP
2 p.m.	Dessert/coffee/tea or adult milkshake at Kringle Emporium

The highest compliment I can think of for a hotel bed is that it feels like my bed at home, and this one did. Kristie and I both slept so well! After trying some of the chocolates MGM left for us, of course, and hanging out in our robes. 

The next morning, the South End Market wowed us too. It's a challenge with such a large space, to make it feel comfortable and homey, but somehow they did. No detail was overlooked. 

I don't envy the task of defining intimate-feeling seating in such a large area, but whoever was in charge did a marvelous job. I couldn't help but think while we ate breakfast that Joanna and Chip Gaines would have enjoyed the space. 

(My new motto, above.)

We returned home after breakfast ($6 richer -- thank you, slots) to a baby who, it seemed, had grown years older overnight. I can't overstate what a true departure this felt like. Thank you Saviero for such a thoughtfully crafted itinerary, and MGM Springfield for gifting with us a much-needed night away in exchange for this post. 

Gift guide: Baby feminist

Rugrats feminist onesie // Wonder Woman teether [affiliate link]
C is for Consent board book [affiliate link] // Women of the Supreme Court finger puppets [affiliate link]
Mae Jemison plush toy [affiliate link] // Women Who Dared block set [affiliate link]

Grilled cheeses I've loved: Post-Thanksgiving

I can't think of anything I want to do more right now than tell you about this sandwich.

The day after Thanksgiving, I set out lunch for Miles in his high chair, and he watched while I layered leftover turkey and cheddar cheese on a piece of Udi's. I spread mashed potatoes and gravy on another slice of bread, and cooked them together in a frying pan popping with butter. I wish I could've added leftover Brussel sprouts too, but there weren't any left (looking at you, family). I wanted to eat another as soon as I'd finished, but am ultimately glad I resisted. I felt sated longer than I expected.

My kingdom for 10 more of these. 

Gift guide: Outdoorsperson

Field Notes notebooks [affiliate link] // DIY checkers game
Fjällraven backpack [affiliate link] // Fleece-lined flannel shirt
Firewood candle [affiliate link] // How to Stay Alive in the Woods guidebook [affiliate link]

Miles is one

We reserved two picnic tables at an indoor park one town over. I baked the cake, and saved extra junk food to put on a matching store-bought one. Three little friends, their parents, and my family joined us for two hours on a Saturday. Together, we celebrated our one-year-old.

Gift guide: True crime lover

Investigation Discovery wine club // Calendar of Cults [affiliate link]
Cereal Killer t-shirt [affiliate link] // "True Crime Addict" pins [affiliate link]
Hunt a Killer subscription box // I'll Be Gone in the Dark by Michelle McNamara [affiliate link]

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